“My baby only eats with the cartoon channel on!” – this is a very common statement we hear from parents these days. And this is where grandma’s lunchtime stories get replaced with online videos in a modern household. With changing times, the traditional joint family is getting replaced by the nuclear family system. These parents-children units lack the story-telling grandparents, the fun cousins, and the indulging uncles and aunts. With both the parents working, the children are left only with gadgets to keep them company. And the vicious cycle of gadget obsession starts right from infancy. Unfortunately, some of them grow up to develop extreme pathologies which eventually feature in the newspapers as suicide or homicide stories of adolescents.
The issue of children’s addiction to gadgets is a matter of grave concern to us now. But if we go deeper into the matter, we may get startled seeing how much we ourselves are responsible for it.
Often parents ask, “Shall we forbid our children from using any gadgets? Will that be good for them?” We must acknowledge that the new age children are born in a world of technology. It would be unfair and unrealistic to try and restrict them from using gadgets. It has become a part of their developmental and educational process. Also, if children are barred from using gadgets, they may become victims of a feeling of persecution or lagging behind their peers.
What should we do?– Well, extreme measures are not the answers. Children should not be forbidden from using gadgets; they should be taught the use of gadgets in moderation.
It is often noticed that gadgets are used as a substitute or compensation for parent’s absence. “Beta, I am busy now. Go play with your video games!” or “Sorry son! I won’t be there for your birthday party but I will buy you a new phone as a present!” – These lines are common in many families. Every time we say such a thing to a child, knowingly, or unknowingly, we are teaching them that human communication is replaceable. As a result, negative conditioning happens!
Some parents feel better if their children stay home and watch television or play video games as it ensures their safety. However, the same parents seek professional help for their children after a certain age as they fail to establish meaningful adult relationships. These children become prey to communication disorders and they grow up to become asocial and develop poor interpersonal relationships.
But it will not be right to hold the parents solely responsible for this situation. There are other factors responsible. Gadgets like smartphones and gaming consoles give us access to a virtual world where we are free to create our own avatars. These avatars are all that we aspire to be. Sometimes these avatars become way too removed from our real selves. It becomes easier for a shy and introvert child to resort to these avatars to communicate with the world than to overcome the barriers of his/her physical interaction. Not only that, the avatar becomes the answer to all the shortcomings the child perceives in himself or herself. Under such circumstances, the virtual world becomes that magic element that saves the child from all stresses and challenges the real-life poses to him/her.
Following are certain cues which may tell a parent that a child is getting addicted to gadgets:
- If the child only finds pleasure in spending time with gadgets
- If the child is having difficulty in concentrating on studies or anything else that requires sustained attention.
- If the child demonstrates an obsession with a certain gadget. For example, only talking about it all day or getting violent or irritated if barred from it
- If the child is disinterested in physical activities and sports
- If the child prefers to be a social recluse
- If the child throws tantrum for a gadget he wants or used by a peer
- If the child is demotivated or bored to do anything that does not involve gadgets
There can be serious consequences if a child demonstrates the above symptoms for a sustained period of time. Some of the common problems are:
- Risk of obesity
- Delayed physical growth
- Impaired cognitive development
- Irritability
- Poor people skills
- Poor academic performance
- Eye problems
- Neck or back pain
What can be done to change this situation? The parents and the caregivers need to be alert and connect with the kids so that they learn to deal with their life events on a positive note. The following preventive measures must be implemented by the parents to save their kids from this addiction:
- Be the example: Children learn to do things their parents do. So, if you practice healthy lifestyle and show less involvement with gadgets, the children will learn the same from you.
- Be the fun & loving parents: Many children often feel that their parents only talk about studies and criticise them. Hence, they tend to seek fun in other things like gadgets. Spend fun and quality time with your children so that feel spending time with you enjoyable. Also, parents’ love affection generates confidence and self-esteem in a child.
- Make house rules: Have a cap for gadget usage on a daily basis. If your child is unhappy with the usage time set by you, involve him/her in a discussion and negotiate. Do consider your child’s preferences and views to a reasonable extent. Did you know even Steve Jobs regulated his children’s usage of the products he created?
- Other activities: Introduce your children to a variety of recreational activities like sports, art and music.
- Gadgets are not crutches: Do not compensate for anything with gadgets. They cannot replace your time and attention.
- Have gadget-free times: Set certain daily activities as gadget-free time. For example, meals or bedtime or evening snacks
- Monitor the content: Be careful that the child is not exposed to any inappropriate content. If found so, do not yell at them. Treat them with empathy and counsel them.
- Praise your child: Appreciate your child’s effort to restrict the gadget use. Verbal appreciation and constructive feedbacks are encouraging to induce positive behaviour.
Kavita Roy, Director, Physical Therapy & Rehabilitation Medica Superspecialty Hospital
Anusheela Brahmachary, Sport Psychologist & Counsellor, Senior Consultant, Medica Superspecialty Hospital
